


Checkmate

by aquazephyrus



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Gen, Suicide mention, death mention, rape mention
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-13
Updated: 2014-05-13
Packaged: 2018-01-24 14:06:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,039
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1607864
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aquazephyrus/pseuds/aquazephyrus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Jason Gideon makes a return to the BAU to catch up on old friends, the one man he runs into isn't very welcoming of his presence. At all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Checkmate

**Author's Note:**

  * For [FeathersMcStrange](https://archiveofourown.org/users/FeathersMcStrange/gifts).



> "This is my family. I found it, all on my own. Is little, and broken, but still good. Ya. Still good." -Lilo and Stitch, 2002.
> 
> \------
> 
> Been meaning to write this for a while. The scorn I hold for Gideon is endless, and I have been waiting to write this with the proper inspiration.

It took Spencer Reid a full minute to realize that _he_ was standing in the doorway of the Behavioral Analysis Unit office with an almost wistful look on his features and another nine seconds to snap himself out of his dumbfounded stupor. Of all the people in the _universe_  he thought he would never see again, this man... this. _Person_  whom he used to call his mentor was watching him with a sickening look of absolute curiosity. 

The others in the room either did not notice, or they could _feel_  the tension between the both of them-- almost like it could be carved with a knife like a Thanksgiving bird. With Blake focused on her crossword puzzle and Rossi having a rather bitter drink in his office, it was almost as if the other two were on a completely seperate plane. But they _knew_  Gideon was there, yet they also recognized that the youngest team member did not need to be coddled in this situation. 

The moment Hotchner looked up from his paperwork and spotted the older teammate in the room, his fingers unconsciously tightened around his pen. He would not move, but his eyes watched like a hawk with ears sharply tuning to the conversation in the bullpen. 

"...Reid?" 

The genius of the team did not move from his desk, guarded. There was something new in this simple gesture that Jason Gideon would not seem to recognize... or care about. Either way, even Morgan understood what could go down, and he hid a smile from the world at this. 

"I thought you were dead." It was quiet, broken. Playing again the innocent, naive genius he once was, knowing at any moment how he could strike down every word the other would speak to him. Nine years of being shot, drugged, left for dead, tragedy... lies--it had created and molded Reid into what he is now. "You l-left a note and everything, and it had e-every implication of..." 

Gideon looked down with that sorrowful gaze. Jareau stole a glance at them both and went back to her write-up without a sound. "I'm sorry. I needed some time to think. To get away from the darkness we saw here every day. All the endings, the death... the rapes, the maulings." He shook his head. "I thought I would come back, see how everything has changed. And." 

Reid blinked. 

"And you're still here." 

There was silence for a brief moment. 

"Are you... how are you? You haven't left, so it. It must be good." 

And that was when Spencer smiled. It was oddly bitter, as was his tone suddenly. "It's. It's going great. I get shot. I get drugged. I've seen people get shot in the head, people I know leaving and abandoning me, the lies, the death. It's all _fucking_  fantastic." 

The look on Gideon's face, in Morgan's eyes, was priceless. He did not move, but that voice was still soft, like he was trying to bring back that genius he tried to raise. The one he tried to show the world. "Why are you here then? You know what the job did to me... so..." 

"Yeah. What it did to _you,_  Jason." Reid finally turned around in his chair fully to face him, standing up from his desk. "Just because _you_  ran away doesn't mean I am." 

In his office, Hotchner could not stop a shit-eating grin unfurling on his own features. 

"You _ran_ , Gideon; you ran away from all your _problems_ , all your _pain_ , all your goddamn suffering because you couldn't take it anymore. That's fine; that's great. But you left behind the one person who actually thought you were a decent human being for a while and would show me everything there was in the world of profiling. You didn't _call_ ; you wrote a fucking _suicide letter_  and left it in your cabin for me to find." Every word was quiet, laced with dripping venom. He stared at the other, his eyes flickering with a fire few had seen. "Do you know what that was _like?"_

By this time, the entire bullpen had gone completely silent. Not even Blake's pen was scratching against the paper. 

"You know what's even _worse?"_

"Spencer, please. Listen to m--" 

"No, you know what?" His voice overtook Gideon's. "Hotch told me you kept trying to convince yourself you did the right thing when I _flatlined._  He heard you in the bathroom talking to yourself about how you were trying to convince yourself that me dying was part of some _grand scheme_  to pull Hankel out. Just like what happened to _Elle_." Fists clenched, and a near growl was heard in his chest. "I'm not a goddamn pawn in a game of chess, _Jason. None of us are."_

Gideon shot a look up to Rossi's office. The author clearly was failing to read a book, meeting eyes with the other. They were daggers. 

"Maybe _that's_  why I've stayed. Because I don't want to be some pawn in this game. The Bureau might have other places where I can be--teaching others about this work. This life. But I have a place here. With a team I _know_  is undeniably the best at what they do." 

The ex-profiler finally just looked at the floor, subdued by the spitting words of his former protege. Reid exhaled quietly. 

"I don't want to run from my demons. Not like you did. I'm not... I'm not _weak_." His voice was quiet. "Not anymore." 

Every pair of eyes was on Jason Gideon at this point, and none of them were inviting him to come back. Each one of them watched him, like a jury waiting for the last word from the judge. 

With nothing more to say, Gideon turned around and opened the doors to the outside of the office for the final time, leaving his old life behind... and his old student. 

No longer was Spencer Reid just a young profiler. He was experienced--in loss. Pain. Suffering. But in it, he'd found family. Strength in being with the others, those that didn't just coddle him, treat him like that baby. 

They were like a pride of lions. 

And he was not welcome by any of them.


End file.
